Hello ladies 🙋🏾
Michelle Clarke Befriending is here to help women through the devastating event of a miscarriage.
MCB was created with women in mind. Women going through trauma, shock, anger, just a few of the emotionally draining emotions that many will go through after suffering a miscarriage.
I lost my daughter in 2017. Her name was Destiny Jayde Clarke. I’d never felt pain like it!!!! I can remember just never wanting to be alone and needing my husband with me at all times.
I’d go onto social media and post that I wasn’t coping once my husband returned to work. The truth is, neither was he but he felt that he had to stay strong for me and our children, get back to normality and continue to keep a roof over our heads and pay the bills.
I love food but I remember just having no appetite whatsoever and just wanting to sit in silence with my eyes closed. I was broken in my grief, everything hurt & all sounds were too loud. I just wanted the world to stop!
Losing Destiny at 23 weeks gestation is termed as a late miscarriage. I don’t particularly like this term. I held my stillborn baby in my arms after giving birth to her lifeless body but you do not get given a birth or death certificate before 24 weeks.
Her funeral was a day I’ll never forget. I cried buckets of tears and yet was so calm at the same time. My emotions came in waves and it was like this for months! I thought I’d never feel like me again and the truth is, years on, I still don’t. Losing a child changes you. Apart of you goes with them.
I did all the research for help myself as I didn’t get the support I needed from anywhere else. I was sent home from the hospital with an out of date support card for a miscarriage support charity. I was deflated when on one of my lowest days, I tried to call and realised very quickly that the details were all incorrect.
I finally had two befrienders. They would come to see me at different times and would sit with me for a good hour, longer at times. I lived for these moments when I wouldn’t be alone. They made me feel normal again for that hour. We made plans, set goals, laughed, cried but most of all, we spoke about my baby. She did exist no matter how briefly.
I found it difficult to play with my then 6 and 1 year old children. I felt like the worst mother on the earth. I was in so much pain and I’d cry even more just looking at their faces. They were wandering where mummy had gone. I wasn’t the same. I’d apologise over and over again and tell them that I’d get back to be being the fun mummy I used to be really soon. I’m happy to say, that they do have me again. It is possible but it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
I felt guilty to play, laugh, eat, even to groom myself properly. I’d leave my hair uncombed for days and sometimes, not even make it to the bathroom. I was drowning in grief and I couldn’t see any way out.
I’ll never forget the way I felt, the way that many women reading this are feeling right now. This is why, I now have to create my own befriending service. I understand that the hospitals are understaffed and can only do so much. I always longed for more support and this is why, I aim to be the support for others. You are not your pain. Go through it, feel it and I will comfort you in the storm and be there to guide you back to being you.
My services are based on donations only so if you feel led to support my vision to help women following a miscarriage, please send an email to email@example.com
I aim to transform the life of many women and lead them gently through this terrifying season.
Befriending sessions can be booked through my online booking system.
My befriending services have no set fee. Donations are welcomed when and if possible to keep the services running. It is not compulsory to donate.
Michelle Clarke ❤️