Do you ever just feel like your life has drastically changed?
I’m feeling this so much lately…
I don’t know where the successful business women has gone and it seems so strange to me.
At one point in my life, my businesses were my main focus!
Is it as simple as a change of priorities? Many mothers are still successful in business…
I actually was one of them when I was a mother of one. Fast forward to 4 children later and i’m almost dizzy with ideas that I’m just not able to fulfill right now.
Does this mean that i’m no longer successful? What is success?
My husband is forever telling me what an amazing mother I am so why am I still constantly searching for that next business venture to fill the gap?
I feel that I need to move closer to God.
Only God can fill my voids.
In my head and heart I know this but the bills still need to be paid and hubby has been doing it solo for too long!
Months before the lockdown, I had launched my gospel exercise class and it was amazing! I was quenching my business thirst and it was bringing others closer to God through the use of His word. Amazing!!!
Finding out that I was pregnant again was a huge shock and once again meant that my business had to go on hold.
I was no longer doing something just for me… the void returned.
It was back to being just a wife and mummy. Both roles such a blessing and roles that some can only ever dream of but I’m not fulfilled by just being either.
I Am Michelle Clarke! I’m not just a wife or a mother. I’m more than that. Right?
I’ve always wore so many hats that just alternating between the two makes me feel like a failure at times.
My eldest child knew a hard working mama who was working part time during the day and the evening, running a dance school, delivering dance workshops through my own programme and even gaining a childminder qualification.
That woman was once me. Where is she??? That’s still who I yearn to be but what if that’s not God’s plan?
What if my children are now my ministry?
What if God is saying that being a great mother and a supportive wife is all that is required of me during this season?
I need to let go and let God. Getting closer to Him can only lead me to my purpose.
This year marks a whole decade of having children. I must trust in the plans that the Lord has for my life and stop being disappointed by the lack of plans that I have for myself.
My marriage is healthy and my children are happy. It’s ok to have goals and aspirations but there are no shortcuts to true success.
I honestly do believe that in this season, I am just being called to be an amazing mother and lead by example within my home.
So, let me get more acquainted with the Proverbs 31 woman and be successful at displaying such qualities.
Raising children to love the Lord will be more successful than anything on my CV.
Now that’s a success!
Still being married to my best friend in 30 years time is definitely a success.
Father God, I pray that when my eyes wander to the temporary successes of the world that you reign in my focus with your gentle truthful words of who I really am and not who I feel I need to be for worldly validation of a successful business woman.
Remind me that you are always my first business and my payment is everlasting love, grace and mercy.
Maybe, just maybe, I’m just called to be a mama.
I look forward to the unavailing of what YOU have for me in YOUR time.
In Jesus name I pray
Amen
